"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together."
-Marilyn Monroe
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Sometimes, I really don't understand why things happen the way that they do. Why do bad thing happen to good people? Why do only the good die young? Why do people ask dumb questions? Why do people make mistakes that hurt people they care about? When will life make sense? Will life ever make sense? Is there really a secret to life?
While questions sometimes lead to answers, but sometimes they only leave you feeling more unsure than when you started. It has taken me a long time to stop asking so many questions and just live my life. For a long time, I thought I was on this quest for knowledge, but while on this quest, I forgot to just be, just live, just enjoy. Living your life constantly in a state question-- always wondering, always searching, always waiting.... it leads to a dead end and you are right back where you started. Lost, alone, scared, and still searching.
I have found that allowing yourself to find your way as you go is much more fulfilling than always feeling the need to be in control. It hit me one day-- as much as I think I am in control of what goes on in my life, I am not. While each day I am allowed to make choices, there is a bigger plan laid out for me. I lost faith in that plan for awhile, thought I knew a better, more direct route to what I wanted. However, thankfully, I found my way back to where I belong; with the people I love and that love me, to old friends that ground me and to new ones that challenge me, to the place my heart feels content, yet ready for tomorrow.
I decided to stop waiting, planning, searching, and longing. I decided to stop waiting for the phone to ring, and just pick up and call. I decided to stop living my life by my planner, and more by the only book that really matters. I decided to stop searching, and start finding. I decided to stop longing for what I didn't have, what has been lost, what can't be had any longer.... I decided to live. In the moment. In the present. Now.
And wow, does it feel good. I am still on a journey, but the type of journey I am on has changed drastically. My journey is now more simple, more attainable, more realistic, and much more meaningful. I will invite you to join, but I won't allow you to slow me down. The opportunity is present, my hand is extended... all YOU have to do it take it. Take my hand and come along.
The time is now, for tomorrow isn't a guarantee.
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