Older and Wiser... with age comes knowledge

It seems that somehow, in all the late nights, mixed drinks, laughs, tears and memories that the fall semester of my senior year has passed me by. It seems like only yesterday that I was moving in for the last time, packing tons of crap into our dorm room. I remember being anxious to begin my senior year and now it is half over. It makes me proud to know that I have almost completed college. It also makes me sad to think that I will be leaving all this behind and moving on to other things. While I am excited to see what life offers me, I feel like I am just getting started here.

I know this is the natural progression in life; moving on and changing. It is just that these have been 4 wonderful years of learning, growth, friendship and change. There has been so much that has gone on in these 4 years that it is hard to grasp. I have loved, lost, been to the bottom and back. I have hurt and been hurt. I have learned and I have taught. These 4 years have been a transformation from a girl to a woman... with real dreams, goals and responsibilities. More importantly, these 4 years have equipped me with the tools and skills to make it in the world. I will have a degree when I leave here, but really I will have much more than that.

There are not words to describe the gratitude I feel to the people who have helped me to get where I am today. From professors to friends, I owe them all a piece of this success. Without the support and love that I have always been privileged to receive, I would not have been able to be the strong, confident person I am today. Because people cared, took the time and made me priority I am able to stand here today. There truly are not words.

I have done a lot of things right in my life; made a lot of really good choices and decisions. But oh man, have I messed up a lot. I have done things I am ashamed of, things I wish I could take back, things that have caused anger, pain and hurt. I have changed and I have changed people. I have been selfish, self centered and stupid. I think about all the things I have done and sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry, sometimes I remember.... but most of all I learn. And while I can't take back the things I have done in the past, I can learn and I can change the future.

Living in the past is something that I refuse to do.... it isn't healthy or helpful. The future is a gift, one that is precious and not to be taken for granted. While the things that I may have done in the past have been less than perfect, wasting the future would be the biggest mistake of them all. I am thankful for the past and all that it has taught me about who I am, what I can do and where I stand. Everyday is another chance to change things, make them better, make them right. Living with regret is something I don't want to do. Living with the fact I wasted time and love dwelling on the past, that could have been used making memories is something I don't want to do. Life involves living, and I intend to live every minute I can.

I am not exactly sure what the future holds, but whatever is about to come my way... I am ready. I am ready to Live.

"Sometimes you just need to be with the person

who makes you smile, even if that means waiting."

I miss the days, the days we used to just be able to sit and talk... about whatever. We didn't need a plan, it didn't have to make sense, it was just right. I wish that I could go back and take in those times. I wish I could bottle the love, happiness, and contentment that I felt then and use it now.

The End Is Never Reached Before The Start

"Baby I woke up cryin last night,

just to realize that you were gone.

Has it been two long years without you?

When are you gonna come home?" -Indigo Girls

What a funny thing forgiveness is. It is more than just a word, comprised of letters. It is a state of mind, a feeling.

When someone hurts you, they take a part of your heart. They make you feel empty in places that you never knew existed. They take your innocence, your pride, your trust, and your love. People do things all the time that we can forgive for almost instantly... but then there are other things, things we can't forgive for. It's not that we don't want to forgive, it's just that we have been hurt so badly, we don't know where to begin.

I guess I have been on both sides of forgiveness enough to know it is something that can't be rushed or made to happen... no matter how bad you want it. I know the pain of both wanting to forgive and not knowing how, as well as waiting for someone to be able to forgive me. Both entail so much: time, love, patience, willingness, and strength.

While the whole forgiveness process is something that is different for each individual no one will say it is easy. It isn't easy, everyday is a struggle. When trust has been broken, it takes a lot of time and love to build it back. Questions and doubts fill minds and hearts.... it happened once, could it happen again. Forgiveness is a leap, trusting that person again to be there to catch you.

Will things ever be the same? I don't really know. I can only hope that one day, this will all be a distant memory. That one day I will be able to look at you and see only love.. not distrust, anger, pain, and hurt. While questions are a big part of the process, there is one thing I am certain of: It is worth it, whatever it takes, regardless of time, tears, and turmoil.... one day we will be "US" again.

Until then.... may the memories be your comfort.

Let them go... let them all go....

"The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free.
Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open, like it or not.
And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore.
The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not."

Secrets.... they give you power, cause you anguish, build bridges and burn them to the ground. It is interesting to me how much of my life I have wasted trying to keep secrets. From meaningless who likes who, to life changing events. They seemed ever so important at the time. Looking back now, how important were they really if I couldn't tell anyone?

I guess secrets are a part of everyone's life. You tell them, you keep them, you hide them, you find them out.... they are as much a part of life as anything else. But what is even more interesting me is the minute you find out a secret all you want to do is tell someone else. There is a burning need deep inside of you, dying to divulge the important information you just received. And most people, myself included, have "that person" you like to share secrets with the most. But what happens when "that person" can't know the secret? That is when life gets really tough.

I have learned that secrets have power, but the most empowering thing one can do it let them go, let them all go. Secrets provide cover for things you don't want anyone to find out.... but once they know, even if it is bad for awhile, there is a sense of release. Letting go of secrets, lies, deceptions, and untruths takes the power away from the secret and gives it back to you.

Things are the way they are, plain and simple. Keeping something from the people you care about most isn't easy... but telling them isn't easy either. But one thing I have learned, the hard way, secrets end up hurting people. You think you are being a good friend keeping something from someone so they don't get hurt, but really, you are hurting them more. Be a real friend, tell them the truth. The deeper the secret goes, the longer it lasts, the more difficult it is to let go.

Tell me your secrets..... and I'll, I'll tell you mine........

There's Somethin' About Those Songs......

I am in a reflective mood, so here goes.

"Life passes so quickly you've got to take the time, or you'll miss what really matters, you'll miss all the signs." -Amanda Marshall

The older I get the more precious I realize time is. People you love the most are the ones that hurt the most when you lose them. Life is really all about the small things- the birth of a baby, the first day of spring, laughing so hard it hurts, hot chocolate, and memories. If you don't slow down and take in all those things in life they will pass you by before you know it. Regret is a horrible feeling... each day we are giving the opportunity to live life to the fullest, free of regret. Why not take advantage of the amazing gift we are given daily.

"It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life.- Greenday

Besides being one of the best songs ever written, it really describes how sometimes the things that we think are going to be the biggest curse end up being the biggest blessings. I know I complain about all the curve balls life has thrown me, but really it isn't all that bad. At the end of the day, I have family that loves me, friends that are amazing, food to eat, money in the bank (even if it sometimes less than I'd like), and I have the faith that God will provide. While my life is far from perfect, and unpredictable doesn't really even begin to describe it... I am having the time of my life and I am blessed.

"We only had a few days, and a whole lot of memories to make. Oh man we were livin, didn't waste one minute. We talked and drank and danced and said goodbye. We laughed until we cried." -Jason Aldean

As my college years are nearing the end, I am becoming more aware of how special these days truly are. There will never be another time in my life that I am this free, so full of opportunity and promise. Being a Senior in college has forced me to examine the fact that this is really it.... the real world is waiting. And while the "Real World" brings some seriousness, I am learning the value of laughter. Laughing so hard it hurts, laughing until I cry.... living every moment for all it is worth, knowing there will never be another moment in time exactly like the one I am living. Go ahead, laugh until you cry.

I know I'll see you again. Whether far or soon. But I need you to know that I care, And I miss you. - Incubus

Not anyone in particular, just all those that I have lost touch with. The fun and friends of high school seem to be fading more and more with each passing day. The people that I once considered my best friends, are no longer. People I thought would never betray me, did. People I thought I would have in my wedding, won't be. People that I thought I would never hurt, I did. And I miss the times when life was simple and our biggest worry was whether or not we would be able to find away to skip a class and go to Qdoba. Wow, how things have changed. But regardless of time or circumstance, I will always have those memories. Not only will the memories remain forever, but so will the love. I miss you all... and if you want to come back to me.... know you will always have a place.

"My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to, your dreams stay big, your worries stay small, You never need to carry more than you can hold, and while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,Yeah, this, is my wish." -Rascal Flatts

This is always a good song to end things on... so I will just roll with it. For all the people in my life, those that I love, those that I admire, those that make me who I am... this is my wish. I don't really have to elaborate much because the song says it all. I hope that each of can read this and know my love for you. If you are in my life, you are in my heart and I wish you only the best.

Wow... I didn't know I had that much to say... guess there really is just Somethin' About Those Songs....

"I'm so tired.... but I can't sleep....."

So, I am sitting the lobby of the dorm at 2:00 because I cannot sleep, and I have no idea why. I guess I have some idea, because I don't feel well and I have been so stressed this week.... but I laid there for 2 hours and still couldn't fall asleep. So, I got up and came down here to try and relax..... it isn't working so much because there are annoying people down here working on their Philosophy paper. They are talking about Plato at the moment... pretty sure it is stuff about The Republic.... which I hated.

Anyway, I am over school. This week has been SO bad. I have had so much going on and on my mind. I had 4 tests and 3 presentations... not to mention the financial aid drama and the yearbook. I am managing... but I am just getting to the point where I really need a break. I hate when I get like this because I just can't turn my mind off. That is probably why I can't fall asleep tonight. This is probably going to be the most random, incoherent post I have ever done. But I am counting it as therapy.... who knows if it actually is or not.

So yeah... it is strange how many people are awake at this hour. I am not sure what they are thinking. I, for one, like my sleep. Another reason why this is so annoying for me. I am such a grouch when I haven't had enough sleep... and tomorrow, of all days, I need to be well rested. Oh well... I will be OK. It isn't the first all nighter of my life... probably won't be the last.

Life is so crazy right now. It is such a busy time, with so much going on. I can't believe that I will be graduating in 6 months. It just doesn't seem real that college is over. Time has passed too quickly. I think about all I have learned over these 4 years, and it makes me proud. I can't believe how much I have changed over these years. I am the same person I was 4 years ago, but at the same time.... I am transformed. Not in a freaky transformers kinda way... but rather a good, complete way.

I know I still have so much to learn. That used to scare the shit out of me.... but now it makes me smile. I am thirsty for knowledge. I love to learn, change, and explore. Life is not exactly what I thought it would be at this point of my life, but that is OK. I have taken some major twists and turns over the years, but when I examine the person I have become today.... I am proud. I am me, and everyday, I am learning to love and accept me.

There is a certain peace that comes with loving yourself that I never really realize until now. When you finally stop trying to change who you are, what you have and your circumstances, you it is refreshing. Embracing who you are is not always easy, but once you learn how to, it is worth all the time, effort, and strife it took to get there.

I look back at the mistakes I have made and what each of them has taught me... needless to say, I have learned so much. (The easy way of saying I have screwed up a lot.) There is no reason to waste time quantifying my mistakes, or even analyzing them. What's done is done.... there is no way to go back and change what is in the past. However, I have a choice in where I go now. There is a sense of ease when you put your trust in something higher and know that you will end up where you need to be one way or another. I trust in that something higher and believe wholeheartedly that I am only beginning a very eventful and exciting journey.

I have been thinking a great deal about what I want to do when I "grow up." I have decided several things regarding this topic. 1. I never want to grow up completely. I hope I never lose the youthful sense of life that I now possess. I hope I never stop believing in magic or fairy tales.... because who knows, one just may come true. 2. I hope to have many different careers in my life. I don't want to, at 21; decide the rest of my life. I want to dabble in all the possibilities before me finding my niche. 3. And possibly the most important, I hope that I can always remember the value of life, love, happiness, and experience. There is nothing more precious that life. It can be taken from us so suddenly, most of the time before we are ready. Love is the most amazing aspect of life. It can build you up and tear you down, like nothing else. It has such power over our lives, and can truly make life worthwhile. Happiness is such a relative thing. There is not a formula or exact way to go about finding it. However, when you achieve happiness, it makes it all come together. It really is what it is all about. Experience... that is what helps you learn and grow. I wouldn't be who I am without the experiences I have had... good, bad or otherwise..... Experiences have made me who I am and I am grateful for each and every one of them.

I am getting a second wind. I feel like I could go run a mile.... well, maybe not quite a mile. Maybe around the dorm. But that would involve effort... and that is just not happening. So, instead I think I might try and go to bed.... hopefully it will work out better than before.

Here's to life and all that it entails. Oh, yeah.... what if the Hokie Pokie is really what it is all about? :)

Time Marches On....

I can't believe that it is already September. We just completed the second week of school, my 21st birthday is over, it will be Christmas before we know it. It just doesn't seem like time can be moving as fast as it is, but as slowly as it is at the same time.... if that made any sense.

There is so much in front of me that I am so thankful to have the opportunity to be a part of. I have great friends, a loving family and a good, strong foundation to start building my life upon. I can't really imagine that it is time for me to begin planning the rest of my life, however, I guess I shouldn't worry about it too much.... live one day at a time.

My 21st was a huge success.... a great time. We went to 4th Street, what an experience it was. I had a blast because all my groups of friends were together and everyone meshed really well. It is always so nice when that works out like that. It is so surreal that I am finally 21.... I never imagined myself at this stage in my life because it always seemed so far away before... now I am living it. So odd.

So much has gone on in the past year, I feel like I have grown and changed so much. I am proud of who I am, what I stand for and what I am all about. I know that I have come a long way and know I still have a long way to go. I am excited.... for what life might bring, what road it may take me down. "Life is a daring adventure, or nothing at all." I don't want it to be nothing at all.

I feel like I am learning the true meaning of love, of hurting, of friendship, sacrifice, and happiness. I thought I knew so much before, but I know now I only thought I knew. I had no idea what REAL LIFE was all about.... and I am happy I got a clue, rather than living in this fantasy world that wasn't teaching me anything nor leading me anywhere. I don't have destination as of now, other than wherever I might end up.... and I am content with that. being happy with who you are and optimistic about who you will become is the greatest feeling in the world. I only wish that others I care about will be able to attain this feeling, this contentment. Joy is simplicity.

There is so much going on in world now that I don't life, things I want to change.... it is a lot to take in. But the only way things will be different is if small groups of people keep fighting for what they know is right. Small groups may not make a lot of difference.... however, every large force today was once a small, dedicated group who would not quit. I will not quit.

"I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope... "

Maybe hope and faith aren't concrete.... but sometimes... it is all you have to go on.

Rest Easy..... Enjoy Your New Home....

Summer camp is supposed to be about making friends, roasting marshmallows, hiking, pitching tents.... typical summer camp things. And, this summer was no different until something changed all that.....

I didn't believe the news when I heard it... how could something so horrible happen in a place that is supposed to provide fun? How did it happen? Why did it happen? But really, none of that really matters all that matters is he is gone. Tim was a quiet guy... never had much too say, but when he said something it was usually funny and said with a smile on his face. I didn't know him all that well, but he was in the group I have been hanging out with this summer. You don't realize how close you can get to people in a summer, whether you know them well or not. There is something about working at the same camp as someone that bonds you together, as if you are working for a common cause or something. This is the way I feel about Tim.

The details weren't clear.... a boating accident, that is all I knew. I walked around camp with a blank stare on my face, not knowing whether to completely break down or go try and help damage control. I tried to keep it together for the kids, as I didn't want to make a bad situation worse for them. And I did pretty well until I saw Ryan. He and Tim were really close, they had spent every one of their days off together. In fact, Ryan was with him Tuesday.... the day before he died. I walked up to Ryan and he just fell into my arms.... breaking down. This is when I lost it. It wasn't just a nightmare... it was real. He was gone.

Everything is a blur from that point on.... things have been insane around here. The phones are ringing off the hook with media, parents-- some concerned, some angry. Everyone is just so sad, Camp has brought in a grief counselor to help us all deal and have someone to talk to if we need it. It really just makes you think..... it could have been anyone of us. I think we all too often forget that tomorrow is not promised, we take that for granted and then we grieve over losing people without them knowing how we truly feel.

It just doesn't seem right, he was only a week away from his 21st birthday... not much older than me. He was going to be a Senior in college... he had his whole life ahead of him, and now he is gone. He wrote on his application that he wanted to come here and do something that would change kids lives, and this would probably be the last summer he could do it since graduation would be coming up in May. He could have gone anywhere.. but he came here. We were lucky enough to get to know him and spend his final days on earth with him.

Death is hard enough to deal with, as an adult.... but it is even harder as a child. So many of these kids are dealing with death for the first time in an unfamiliar setting, away from their families, away from their comfort zone. Kids had to witness him death, and I think it hit a lot of them really hard. We are all trying to stay strong for the kids, but trying to sort out our own feelings as well. It's really hard......

I think Tim is out there tonight, he is looking down on us, watching over us.... helping us all in his own way. Thanks for the memories, thanks for being a part of an amazing summer. You were taken from us all too soon, but we can rest easy tonight knowing you are in a better place. There is no death..... only a change of worlds.... Rest easy..... enjoy your new home.....

When Life Kicks You, Let It Kick You Forward -Kay Yow

I think I am a pretty tough person, it takes a lot to get me really upset. I don't cry all that often, but sports things... they really get to me. One Shining Moment at the end of the NCAA Finals, The Superbowl trophy presentation, Andre Agassi's last match..... and I could go on and on. There is just something about knowing how hard athletes and coaches work, how much they put into the game, blood, sweat, tears, playing through pain, the desire that you have deep inside to compete. It is something that isn't really describable with words, it is just a connection that I think all athletes have. Something that ties them all together, something greater than wins and losses, championships and endorsements..... the deep, pure, wholesome love of the game. While recently athletics have been plagued with steroid scandals and all other kinds of nonsense. I like to try and go back to the heart of the game and see the good things rather than the bad.

The video above brought tears to my eyes. It shows not only the desire to compete athletically, but it shows the will to succeed in life. Kay Yow is someone that had achieved so much in life, both on the court and off. It would have been easy for her to allow cancer to beat her... but rather she fought, fiercely and courageously, all while keeping a never quit attitude. While her many accolades on the court with be what she is most known for publicly, those who know her well will remember her for being a fighter, a competitor, and for her love of the game.

"An open lot, a sunny day. Ball, Bat, Glove. No owners, no contracts, Just Baseball. For The Love of The Game."

Sometimes you have to lose your bearings to find your way....

So yeah, I have been slacking majorly on this whole blogging thing, but I have been busy doing.... things. Camp is over in less than a month.... so hard to believe. Time has flown by, and another summer is almost over. I have done a lot this summer and gotten to experience a lot of things that have caused me to step back and look at the world in which I live. I have enjoyed my time here in the wonderful mountains of western North Carolina... the scenery is amazing here. On my last day off, I went to Greenville, South Carolina. It was a lovely town. Eric, my summer BFF, and I spent almost all down soaking in the downtown area. It was so fun to just relax and take in what the town had to offer. I would consider placing it in the list of possible places to live list, I give it an 8 on a 1-10 scale.

Anyway, I have done a lot of thinking since I have been here... I think new situations always lead to reflection. New situations are so abstract; they test you, they cause you to step outside your comfort zone, put yourself out there and make you stronger. It would have been so much easier for me to stay home and just do a job that was easy, that didn't cause me to stretch my limits. But I feel like this is who I am, what I am supposed to be doing. Even though there have been times that I have hated this place so much, it is worth all the drama in the end. Will I be back?? I don't think so... not because I didn't enjoy it but I feel that I should move on to bigger challenges. Climb another mountain.... so to speak.

I think that I am going to stop being such a planner. Let go of things, allow things to happen.... Sometimes, you have to get lost before you can really find yourself. I think that I am getting to that point. I feel like that I have been at a low point... but then I have pulled myself back up to the top and I plan on staying there. There is such a sense of peace when you just let go and allow life to happen. While it is still important to have goals, hopes and dreams.... it is also important not to like life by a script. When an opportunity arises, take it. I have learned not to be afraid of failure, but to embrace it and learn from it. So many wonderful things have been discovered by accident.... besides.... the unknown is kind of intriguing. Until next time.....

Bring on the rain....

So it has been raining since the kids arrived here at camp... I think it might be a sign. Ha ha.... not really. Little joke there. Anyway, the kids have been here since Sunday and things are going pretty well thus far. I really missing being a counselor, that direct interaction with the kids. However, what I don't miss is being needed 24/7... having no privacy or time to myself. This whole office job thing, is definitely different that what I am used to, but it is good. I really enjoy seeing what goes on behind scenes is cool. Plus getting every night off has allowed me to meet a lot of cool people that I would not have gotten to hang out with otherwise.

Other than camp life, things are going decently well in my life. I can't believe that I am going to be starting my final year of college... it just doesn't seem right. People always tell you not to wish time away... I didn't listen... and now I am wanting some of that time back. But I guess you can't go back, only forward... gotta make the best of what time you do have left. I feel like I am ready for whatever the "real world" has to offer. I know that there will be stresses and challenges, but you have to have that or you never see what you are really made of. The last year of my life has been full of a lot of changes, ups and downs. At the time, they were horrible.... some days, they still are. But for the most part, I am thankful for all that I have been through. It has made me who I am-- I am proud of that.

I am ready for whatever this life may bring me...... bring on the rain and whatever else you have to offer.

What I don't want to be when I grow up.....

So, today the campers arrived at the lovely Camp Pinewood. It has been one of the longest and most stressful days of my life. 380 kids, 2 charter flights, a million problems, and a box of Swiss cake rolls... pretty much sums it up. I really like working here, but dealing with stuff like this has made me realize how much I don't want to become a rich, snobby mom. I have dealt with so many people, with so much money... and it seems they lose all common sense and manners because they have a fat rock on their hand or a Rolex on their arm.

They have let their money take the place of common courtesy and a smile.... that is sad and annoying, to say the least. It has really reminded me to be humble, respect where I come from, and never forget it. I like to think I am doing things with my life and hope to someday be comfortable... but never, EVER to I want to become one of the people that think that money makes them more valuable than any other human being. We all came from the same place and no one else has the right to judge another person, regardless of how many zeros are on your check at the end of the month.

While there have been a fair share of assholes, there are also those people that are so genuinely nice and do good things with their money. I respect those people and I would be ok turning out like one of them... Money is powerful... but only to a point. Respect is more powerful though, and you can gain that with or with a wad of cash in your wallet.

On to other things, the summer is flying by. It is already June 10th, it seems like only yesterday I was packing my things to go home... I was there for a total of 8 days and then I came here. I am really glad that I did... it has made me test my limits, personally and professionally. I know that I don't want to be a secretary... I would love to own a camp one day. It would be an amazing thing I think. Camp is a wonderful place and it allows kids to become who they are. I don't know if these kids know how lucky they are... but maybe one day they will realize the value of the time they spent here.

Life is funny.... that is the conclusion I have come to. You don't have enough time for the things you love most... they get taken from you too soon, and it hurts too much. So, I am going with this new outlook on life, live it like you were dying... because really we are. It is only a journey, that isn't really our own anyway. We are only here for a short time.... make it worth while. Let go of petty things that really don't matter, focus on the things that really matter. Family, friends, love, laughter, making it count when it matters. Do it... don't dream about it, or think about it... live life...

Til next time... better days.

Camp Pinewood: An adventure to say the least...

So, I have been at Camp for about 3 weeks now... it has really been a good time thus far. I can't really say enough about how amazing all the people are and how much fun it has been to get to know them all. It was a little scary coming here and not knowing anyone... but they all made me feel at home from the start, it was great.

So far... we have done a lot of hanging out and getting to know each other. Up until last night, there was about 15 of us here. Pre Camp staff, the office girls, and a few others. But yesterday, loads of people arrive. It was overwhelming a bit trying to learn all their names and where they from. We all went to a Mexican place just up the road called the Patron. It was a good time. We all got to chat and mingle for a few hours. Then a group of us walked back to camp, making a stop at the Exxon and Krispy Kreme. Some of the girls had never had one before, so they got to experience that. Once we got back to camp, we hung out a little bit and then they all headed to bed. I watched a movie, and then passed out.

I really think that this will be a memorable summer.... it is so different from any other camp experience I have ever had and I think that it is really cool to get to do something like this. I would highly recommend a summer camp job of any sorts. It is cool because it isn't really a job so much, you get to chill with cool people, make memories that will last forever, and possibly change a child's life....to me is way more valuable than bagging groceries or working at the mall.

It does take some effort to put yourself out there, make new friends, and acclimate yourself to new surroundings... but I think it is worth it. You will only get as much out of the summer as you put in....

I suppose that is all for now, I really should do some work. Hope all is well with everyone. Write me!