"Baby I woke up cryin last night,
just to realize that you were gone.
Has it been two long years without you?
When are you gonna come home?" -Indigo Girls
What a funny thing forgiveness is. It is more than just a word, comprised of letters. It is a state of mind, a feeling.
When someone hurts you, they take a part of your heart. They make you feel empty in places that you never knew existed. They take your innocence, your pride, your trust, and your love. People do things all the time that we can forgive for almost instantly... but then there are other things, things we can't forgive for. It's not that we don't want to forgive, it's just that we have been hurt so badly, we don't know where to begin.
I guess I have been on both sides of forgiveness enough to know it is something that can't be rushed or made to happen... no matter how bad you want it. I know the pain of both wanting to forgive and not knowing how, as well as waiting for someone to be able to forgive me. Both entail so much: time, love, patience, willingness, and strength.
While the whole forgiveness process is something that is different for each individual no one will say it is easy. It isn't easy, everyday is a struggle. When trust has been broken, it takes a lot of time and love to build it back. Questions and doubts fill minds and hearts.... it happened once, could it happen again. Forgiveness is a leap, trusting that person again to be there to catch you.
Will things ever be the same? I don't really know. I can only hope that one day, this will all be a distant memory. That one day I will be able to look at you and see only love.. not distrust, anger, pain, and hurt. While questions are a big part of the process, there is one thing I am certain of: It is worth it, whatever it takes, regardless of time, tears, and turmoil.... one day we will be "US" again.
Until then.... may the memories be your comfort.
1 comment:
I like your paragraph
about forgiveness. So true, so real, insightful.
May you be blessed by love.
"What a funny thing forgiveness is. It is more than just a word, comprised of letters. It is a state of mind, a feeling.
When someone hurts you, they take a part of your heart. They make you feel empty in places that you never knew existed. They take your innocence, your pride, your trust, and your love. People do things all the time that we can forgive for almost instantly... but then there are other things, things we can't forgive for. It's not that we don't want to forgive, it's just that we have been hurt so badly, we don't know where to begin.
I guess I have been on both sides of forgiveness enough to know it is something that can't be rushed or made to happen... no matter how bad you want it. I"
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