Growing Up Is Hard To Do.....

Ok, so maybe being a "grown up" isn't all it is cracked up to be. First of all, before I even begin to explain... I need to catch everyone up to speed since it has been awhile since I last blogged.

So, it is mid April... meaning that I only have approximately 1 month until Graduation. There are so many emotions going on in my head at this time... I can't even begin to describe them all. I am so happy and proud that I am going to be graduating college and that I have made it to this point in my life and in my journey. I have learned so much and grown vastly as a person. I have had a lot of stuff thrown my way and somehow managed to come out ok. It hasn't been easy and has most definitely not always been fun... but it is my life and I love it.

Anyway, so last week I was offered a job with a new company called VuPal. I am extremely excited, as this is an opportunity of a lifetime. I am going to get to do all the things that I know and love and get paid for them. I am really excited to see what will come of all this... there are endless possibilities and so much room for growth, not only within the company, but also within myself. I am thrilled to be working with people that are smart, savvy, and in the know. The company really has a great vision and so many great ideas.

So that means that I will be staying in Louisville, post-graduation. So, that meant finding a place to live. There have been many hangups along the way with all this, I won't go into them all because, well, there are too many and it upsets me. Anyway, I know for sure I can sublease an apartment for the summer, starting in June, which is great. That takes a large weight off of my shoulders, as that extends my time to figure out what the hell I am going to do. However, after that... I will need a more permanent place to live and that is where the major issues are happening.

I decided to write it all out, crunch all the numbers, and budget for the first time in my life. It is not fun and I do not want to do it. I was SO stoked to get a salary position.... that seemed like a lot of money until you started eating at it with necessary expenses and costs. 50 dollars here, 100 there.... before you know it.... my salary is scraps! Granted, it will still be more money that I have ever had before.... the reality train just came into the station for me.... and I was SO not ready to get on yet.

Things will be fine and I know in the end, I will be able to live just fine.... but it most def will not be the big party I was imagining. I guess this is all part of the process and that you must go through it all, from excitement to anguish.... I am somewhere in the middle at the most. I realized how lucky I have been in my life to never REALLY have to worry about money. There have been times that I have been a little strapped for cash, but never have I had to worry where I was going to get my next meal or how I was going to make ends meet. For this, I am very thankful.

There are people in this world that will never see even 100 dollars, much less a thousand or multiple thousands. When you stop and think about it that way, things seem a lot more clear and easy to take in. At the lowest points in my life, I still have had more than some people ever will. I am worrying about being able to buy Coach purses and have enough money for drinks on the weekend (sometimes during the week, if needed) and those things REALLY do not matter or make life more rich. They may make it more fun and more flashy..... but they aren't what really counts. I should be worrying whether or not I will have enough to adopt a child from one of those feed the children things or donate to a worthy cause..... but that just isn't where my mind is focusing..... I must work on this.

I am a work in progress, to say the least. I have come a very long way.... and still have a long way to go. But, I am working on it, working on me, working on being the best that I can be..... taking each day for what it is worth and not letting too much time pass without stopping to reflect on all that I do have. Focusing on the good is often hard to do, but it really allows you to step out of yourself and look at life a little differently..... it makes the world look different.

I never imagined my life would be what it is today...... but that is ok. Everyday I wake up is a new adventure.... I will let you tag along if you like. :)