It seems that somehow, in all the late nights, mixed drinks, laughs, tears and memories that the fall semester of my senior year has passed me by. It seems like only yesterday that I was moving in for the last time, packing tons of crap into our dorm room. I remember being anxious to begin my senior year and now it is half over. It makes me proud to know that I have almost completed college. It also makes me sad to think that I will be leaving all this behind and moving on to other things. While I am excited to see what life offers me, I feel like I am just getting started here.
I know this is the natural progression in life; moving on and changing. It is just that these have been 4 wonderful years of learning, growth, friendship and change. There has been so much that has gone on in these 4 years that it is hard to grasp. I have loved, lost, been to the bottom and back. I have hurt and been hurt. I have learned and I have taught. These 4 years have been a transformation from a girl to a woman... with real dreams, goals and responsibilities. More importantly, these 4 years have equipped me with the tools and skills to make it in the world. I will have a degree when I leave here, but really I will have much more than that.
There are not words to describe the gratitude I feel to the people who have helped me to get where I am today. From professors to friends, I owe them all a piece of this success. Without the support and love that I have always been privileged to receive, I would not have been able to be the strong, confident person I am today. Because people cared, took the time and made me priority I am able to stand here today. There truly are not words.
I have done a lot of things right in my life; made a lot of really good choices and decisions. But oh man, have I messed up a lot. I have done things I am ashamed of, things I wish I could take back, things that have caused anger, pain and hurt. I have changed and I have changed people. I have been selfish, self centered and stupid. I think about all the things I have done and sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry, sometimes I remember.... but most of all I learn. And while I can't take back the things I have done in the past, I can learn and I can change the future.
Living in the past is something that I refuse to do.... it isn't healthy or helpful. The future is a gift, one that is precious and not to be taken for granted. While the things that I may have done in the past have been less than perfect, wasting the future would be the biggest mistake of them all. I am thankful for the past and all that it has taught me about who I am, what I can do and where I stand. Everyday is another chance to change things, make them better, make them right. Living with regret is something I don't want to do. Living with the fact I wasted time and love dwelling on the past, that could have been used making memories is something I don't want to do. Life involves living, and I intend to live every minute I can.
I am not exactly sure what the future holds, but whatever is about to come my way... I am ready. I am ready to Live.
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