Today, I gave. More than I wanted to, more than I thought I could. I saw you, I engaged you, I even ask you how your damn day was. That was big for me. Because as much as I want to act like you don't matter to me, you do. As much as I want to act like there is nothing there, there is. As much as I want you forget you, I can't. People like you can't be forgotten, even when people like me want to forget you.
You're a part of my memories; sometimes I wish I could just store you away in a box deep inside my heart, like a person stores momentos in an attic. You have power over me still, and I hate it. I hate that I care for you. I hate that I love you. I hate that, I can't hate you.
Someday I am sure I will look back on all this and laugh at myself for being so stuck on you. But for now, I don't laugh about it..... but at least I am not crying anymore.
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