Rest Easy..... Enjoy Your New Home....

Summer camp is supposed to be about making friends, roasting marshmallows, hiking, pitching tents.... typical summer camp things. And, this summer was no different until something changed all that.....

I didn't believe the news when I heard it... how could something so horrible happen in a place that is supposed to provide fun? How did it happen? Why did it happen? But really, none of that really matters all that matters is he is gone. Tim was a quiet guy... never had much too say, but when he said something it was usually funny and said with a smile on his face. I didn't know him all that well, but he was in the group I have been hanging out with this summer. You don't realize how close you can get to people in a summer, whether you know them well or not. There is something about working at the same camp as someone that bonds you together, as if you are working for a common cause or something. This is the way I feel about Tim.

The details weren't clear.... a boating accident, that is all I knew. I walked around camp with a blank stare on my face, not knowing whether to completely break down or go try and help damage control. I tried to keep it together for the kids, as I didn't want to make a bad situation worse for them. And I did pretty well until I saw Ryan. He and Tim were really close, they had spent every one of their days off together. In fact, Ryan was with him Tuesday.... the day before he died. I walked up to Ryan and he just fell into my arms.... breaking down. This is when I lost it. It wasn't just a nightmare... it was real. He was gone.

Everything is a blur from that point on.... things have been insane around here. The phones are ringing off the hook with media, parents-- some concerned, some angry. Everyone is just so sad, Camp has brought in a grief counselor to help us all deal and have someone to talk to if we need it. It really just makes you think..... it could have been anyone of us. I think we all too often forget that tomorrow is not promised, we take that for granted and then we grieve over losing people without them knowing how we truly feel.

It just doesn't seem right, he was only a week away from his 21st birthday... not much older than me. He was going to be a Senior in college... he had his whole life ahead of him, and now he is gone. He wrote on his application that he wanted to come here and do something that would change kids lives, and this would probably be the last summer he could do it since graduation would be coming up in May. He could have gone anywhere.. but he came here. We were lucky enough to get to know him and spend his final days on earth with him.

Death is hard enough to deal with, as an adult.... but it is even harder as a child. So many of these kids are dealing with death for the first time in an unfamiliar setting, away from their families, away from their comfort zone. Kids had to witness him death, and I think it hit a lot of them really hard. We are all trying to stay strong for the kids, but trying to sort out our own feelings as well. It's really hard......

I think Tim is out there tonight, he is looking down on us, watching over us.... helping us all in his own way. Thanks for the memories, thanks for being a part of an amazing summer. You were taken from us all too soon, but we can rest easy tonight knowing you are in a better place. There is no death..... only a change of worlds.... Rest easy..... enjoy your new home.....